‘When To Leave People Behind’ Kingston’s Journey #142

People Peel Off As We Age

As we go through different stages of life, we meet so many different people. It’s only natural as we are advancing, from grade to grade, primary to secondary to university. Then we start in our careers, perhaps moving from job to job. Some connections stick, some do not, but the point is that there is a constant flow of new people acting as a replenishment of social capital.

But as is so often the case, when an individual grows older, we settle. We stop advancing. And as that point gradually comes, new people that used to consistently enter our lives slow to a trickle. At the same time, just as we had to leave people behind in formative years, it is equally a necessity, even when the inflow becomes non existent. Of course, this is assuming you want to continue advancing and assuming you do, how does one decide whom to keep and whom to leave behind?

How To Discern Who To Leave Behind

It’s a strategic decision, and any true strategy is based on the concept that when you make your first few moves, no one can detect your true intentions. So look at the person, they may not have any immediate value to you now, but could they be of use to you in the future? Or could they have potential to be of use to you in the future?

If the answer is ‘no’ to all three of these questions (no use now, no use in the future, and no potential use in the future), well why are you keeping such people around if the are of no help? They say ‘no man is an island, true, but what is being referred to here is not making yourself an island, rather, it’s weeding out the undesirable plants to allow the fruits to grow. Of course don’t be nasty about it, rather, simmer your bridges.

There are only so many people we can invite into our lives, and fewer still that can be brought into the inner core, so make it count.

Kingston S. Lim

20th May 2022

Lagos, Nigeria

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