Take A Good Long Look At the Cover
‘Don’t judge a book by it’s cover’ they say. Well you should. Here’s why:
We’ve been told and educated (in the West) that we should stand against stereotypes. That these stereotypes are not true. But let’s put it into a different perspective. The purpose of stereotyping is to categorize people based on visible traits using past experiences. And based on past experiences, we can reasonably assume that those that exhibit these same traits are going to behave in a similar way. So we can plan and anticipate for it.
Think of a weather forecast, there is a demand for it because we want to plan for the days ahead. If the forecast is incorrect, we adjust accordingly. This is the same for our preconceived notions about various peoples. Of course beyond just the categorizations, we need to look at the covers of individual people that we encounter. Think of it as a two step filtering process. The first step is the categorization of the individual. The second is to analyze their individual character.
Identify the Red Flags
And what we are looking for when analyzing their character is we are detecting for red flags. There are always telltale signs that someone or something just isn’t right. It’s just a matter of detecting them. There are different categories which we won’t get too deeply into. But just to give an idea, here are a few:
- Body Language
- Words (spoken/unspoken/speed it’s spoken)
- Physical contact
There are a number of probing questions you could ask to test the legitimacy of the person. But with all said and done, be mindful that the point of all of this is a matter of properly vetting the people you’ll be bringing into your circle of acquaintances, friends and partners. You need to be making the right friends, so detecting red flags at the onset of meeting a new person serves as an efficient way of filtering through the riff raff and preventing the need to extract people that shouldn’t have been there in the first place.
Kingston S. Lim
October 20, 2021