Establish Barriers: Kingston’s Journey #116

Don’t Give It Away For Free

I’m going to venture off into a realm that I don’t go into quite often. Now it’s been said that men do not respect women that sleep with them easily. Don’t want to get too deep into this, but basically it’s a matter of people not valuing what is given to them cheaply and easily. Since it can be had in such a readily available way.

So goes this male/female dynamic, so too goes any relationship you have. If you offer a relationship to just about anyone, you won’t be as valued as someone that is more scarce. Think of an upper level manager or business owner. They have gatekeepers that limit your access to their time. And in turn, people take them more seriously. That which we obtain too easily, we value too lightly. It is dearness that grants value.

Have Gatekeepers

Therefore, just as women gatekeep whom has a place in their most… intimate setting, you need to gatekeep your personal life. Of course in order to get anywhere in life, you need to go out there and shake hands. I’m not denying that, what I am saying is avoid letting people in too close. We have circles of relationships. From the acquaintances on the outer ring to a romantic partner at the center. Using this analogy, the point is having gates set in place, make it so that each new level that someone enters is increasingly difficult to bypass.

Don’t let someone you’ve just met into your home. Keep them at a distance and be polite about it. Don’t let one person monopolize your time. Be careful about who you let in, as getting them to leave is no easy task (as anyone who has broken up with a romantic partner can attest.) Be selective, make it your goal that people want a close relationship with you, part of the reason because it is not easy. Make it a reward.

Kingston S. Lim

September 16, 2021

Lagos, Nigeria

About Kingston’s Journey Series: Kingston’s Journey is a lifelong series. This is the travel journal I take with me. Whether you have questions such as how to change my life or how to travel the world, I think you’ll find value in the life lessons I’ve experienced and documented in this travel notebook. They may serve as travel inspiration for you. In Chinese, there is a saying, “讀萬卷書,不如行千里路.”

This means, instead of reading ten thousand books, why don’t you walk a thousand miles. This is my inspiration to travel every nation (or as many as possible) in my pursuit of my global MBA by learning as much as possible and recording these life lessons learned only by travel. In the end, I think the achievement of dreams, personal growth & aspirations out there through travel and adventure will lead to a more fulfilling life. Living and experiencing the “now” is how I’ll make my life a great memory in the future.

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