We Are Timid By Biology
Most people are afraid to speak their mind. They are afraid of the judgement they may get from other people, unsure of the consequences of expressing thoughts and putting them into reality. Because the fact of the matter is that we were wired to need the validation, approval and acceptance of others. Without other people we would not be able to survive. So in a bid to fit into the in group, oftentimes we would be willing to forgo speaking, acting and pursuing the things that we want in order to conform (and by extension remain part of our in group.)
By this line of logic, most people won’t be so bold as to step out of the norm even if their hearts want to, in other words, they are afraid to deviate.
So then it is a matter of observing those that are willing to break from that norm. Of which I will refer to as the 1:100 rule. Allow me to elaborate.
The Outspoken Are the Representatives
The long and short of what I am referring to is that it is safe to assume that for every 1 person that says or does something, 100 people in the surrounding vicinity are thinking the same way, they just don’t have the courage to act on it and express the way that they feel about certain things. Of course though, this is meant to be a rule of thumb, not an exact science. Therefore, the exact numbers are meant to be placeholders of a concept. That concept being that when one person speaks out, many others around him/her are having the same thoughts. This is the essence of the 1:100 rule.
Now this could be applied towards wanted and unwanted behavior of those of whom you interact with on any number of basis, from a one time encounter of a random stranger to a friend you see daily with everyone in between. The point is, if someone compliments you or insults you, be aware that those around this person, especially if they are of a similar demographic, are thinking the same way.
This rule has been extremely helpful for m when I’m a lone foreigner in countless countries trying to get a feel for the people around me. Perhaps others will find it useful as well.
Kingston S. Lim
March 17, 2021