About the Wiser Next Week Series: These entries will involve posting my book, Wiser Next Week, chapter by chapter, freely available to the public. Additionally, I’ll be recounting a story about something I’ve learned based on the chapter’s topic since the months that have past when the book was published in December 2018.
But Mom!
When I was a high school senior, I really didn’t want to go to college. Problem was I didn’t know what to do as an alternative.
When I let my mother k ow she wasn’t very happy. She knew at this point that my grades weren’t great (not by Asian standards anyways) but she was still adamant about me going to uni.
At the end of my grade school years my parents (it felt like) had all but given up on my getting exceptional grades. I was quite pleased as it seemed as though they dropped the high academic expectations they had for me since I was a small child when at the twilight of my adolescence, my grades did not compare to… someone else.
I was happy as I thought this meant free reign go do whatever I wanted until the college thing came up.
They (my parents) took the attitude of,
“Dang it boy just go to a community college, we know you’re not going to make the Ivy Leagues.”
I was resistant, then my mom pulled an ace from her sleeve:
Guilt trip
She moaned about how as a girl she never got to go to school past the 6th grade because her family didn’t have the money and she needed to start working so that her brothers can go to college. She said,
“I didn’t work so hard to get to America for my son not to go to college.”
I rolled my eyes. Classic child of immigrants experience.
My mom was born in China in the 1950’s and her family had fled from the communists government that had come into power then.
They had fled to Macau, a city in Southern China that had been a Portuguese colony at the time. She told me she didn’t have enough food to eat during this chaotic time.
Giving In To Guilt
Fine. I’ll go to college.
But I’m moving away to somewhere else to gain some autonomy. San Francisco, CA to Reno, NV.
From college it was natural to do what everyone else was doing, not what I wanted. Suppose it was me trying to fit in to an extent being the first time I was living alone and guilt that I was spending so much money going to college I felt I had to go along with the narrative. Even when this wasn’t what I wanted.
That’s the problem. People doing what other people want, not what they believe in.
To achieve what you want in life, business or personal, is to know where you want to go and align your actions with it. Go after what you want, not the wants of others. To live the lives of others often leads to a mindset of just “getting through the day” with no fixed means of correcting the situation. This sort of life leads to a life filled with regrets. Focus on what matters. This is the way moments are remembered and time dilated.
Father Time Will Be The Judge
I don’t know whether going to college was the right choice or not, time will tell. What I do know is that right now, now that I’m making the best use of my time as I see fit. By exploring the world and its opportunities, that is when I am making the best use of my most precious resource,
Time.
Only then when I stop living for the sake of others will regrets be minimized and satisfaction maximized.
Here is the “On Time“ chapter of Wiser Next Week. Take it and implement it into your own life.
Previous Chapters
“I Didn’t Know How to Do Laundry” Wiser Next Week Intro
“The Spray & Pray Teacher” Wiser Next Week: On Emotions
“Show Them Your Greatness” Wiser Next Week: On Fear
“Psychological Ownership” Wiser Next Week: On Loyalty
“Strategically Smile to Get What You Want” (Wiser Next Week: On Happiness)
“Your Body is a Car” (Wiser Next Week: On Health)
“The Gift of Time and Age”(Wiser Next Week: On Aging & Death)
“Project Your Life 5 Years Ahead” (Wiser Next Week: On Regrets)
“You’re Doing it Wrong” (Wiser Next Week: On Mistakes and Failures)
“Align Principles With Action” (Wiser Next Week: On Goals and Persistence)
Action is Courage (Wiser Next Week: On Persistence)
”See Things As They Are, Not How You Wish Them To Be” (Wiser Next Week: On Perception)
“Grab It By The Reins”(Wiser Next Week: On Opportunities)
“Ask And You Shall Receive”(Wiser Next Week: On Finding Solutions)
“A Part of What You Earn Is Yours to Keep” (Wiser Next Week: On Money)
“The 5 Principles of Entrepreneurship” (Wiser Next Week: On Entrepreneurship)
“Making A Living Vs. Making a Life” (Wiser Next Week: On Work and Career)
“Why Do Things You Suck At?”(Wiser Next Week: On Prioritizing)
“We Become What We Think About” (Wiser Next Week: On the Controllable and Uncontrollable)
“Check Your Adjectives”(Wiser Next Week: On Attitude)
“When Lightning Strikes Twice” (Wiser Next Week: On Change)
“Reap A Destiny” (Wiser Next Week: On Habit, Motivation & Willpower)
“Linking Theory With Practicality” (Wiser Next Week: On Decision Making)
Kingston S. Lim 
A great read as always. Living by just getting through the day is indeed pitiful. “Dearness gives everything it’s value” these words are gonna stay with me.
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The quote above takes me back to my 10th grade physiology class. We had an older gentleman that had a respiratory illness but recovered.
He talked about first being able to breathe normally again and how it felt like such a gift that wasn’t previously given a thought.
In such instances most people won’t be able to understand, but that doesn’t mean we can’t appreciate
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Indeed.
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