“I Loved You, But Not No More” Thoughts on Love: Kingston’s Journal #29

Image result for what is love
What is Love?

So yesterday I saw some of my M3 students likely for the last time. As I walked past, one of them called after me, “Mr. Kingston!” she said. I turned around, “good bye!” they called out as they waved farewell. Me, being more a man of letters and not so quick to think on my feet, I could not think of anything profound to say off the top of my head, so I said the standard “Good luck in high school” and “word hard” sh-peel. The girls called back, “love you too!”

Odd response, I know many of them said “I love you Mr. Kingston” on the end of year survey of my class, even so. I thought to myself, “I loved them, but not no more.” I loved them in the manner of me taking psychological ownership of their successes and failures. That was my obligation to them when I agreed to be their teacher. Now that contract has lifted, the term ended, the agreement fulfilled and my word kept. They are no longer my students and I am no longer their teacher, so I no longer love them.

This is true in regards to the students I had to grit my teeth and try to love (ie. M3). There are students that are an absolute delight to work with and made me smile when I saw them. This small handful will forever hold a place in my heart. And that’s the thing about love, its not a feeling, its giving what you got for the best interest of the other person. Now that I think about it, there’s not much I conceivably help back with these kids. I gave in a way that I wouldn’t be able to a second year. It was an energetic love compacted into a small time frame to make the largest splash in the shortest amount of time.

Life Update: I did my two guest lectures these past two days on the research I conducted on Thai University students. The second one I felt went great with good engagement and even some laughter. It took god knows how many hours, from field study, preparing the findings and knocking on professors doors. I’m glad I did it, as I now have the sense of achievement of being a University level guest lecturer at the age of 24. I wouldn’t do this type of field study again for the sake of solely another speaking opportunity though, its just too time consuming.

Anyhow, Final Project complete!

A few pictures taken of the guest lecture I held about the English competency of Thai Uni students in Kasetsart University.

Kingston S. Lim

February 15, 2020

Bangkok, Thailand

2 thoughts on ““I Loved You, But Not No More” Thoughts on Love: Kingston’s Journal #29

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